The thing with social propriety is that you always seem like you are stable and content. And it makes it harder, when there is a flashbulb going off in every third persons phone in the vicinity; because there isn’t a moment when looking lost is affordable. And it makes us as a majority more unstable and more discontented because we don’t have the freedom of owning or knowledge of all of these darker sides of our emotions. Because we’re supposed to keep everything very friendly and polite and appropriate all the time. Emotions now need an appointment or a planner too.
But despite the appointments and the planners and the hip, happy, trendy selfies with unrelated hashtags, the pain and anxiety doesn’t really go away. It won’t even if someone kisses it better. Sadness never recedes because a person posts an inspiring quote on their Facebook status. Grief doesn’t sink into the shadows the moment the sun comes up. You can’t sleep your way through misery and then you Google for ways to uplift your saggy, tearless eyes instead of finding a little DIY kit to restore your mental health.
There are some hurts that become a part of you, like your blood or your eyes or your teeth. Those are the ones that will demand to be lived over and over again. Like a scar that can be seen, it will stay on the edges of your memories, the layer underneath your skin, the tears stored in your Lacrimal sac for appropriate further abuse and the laughter that sounds hollow to even your own ears. Because that’s what life does; it pushes us in a corner and dares us to reclaim centre stage.