In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and separated them into two with water and land. He then separated the day from the night and added a little bit of sparkle into the proceedings with some stars.
He then populated the Earth with grains, fruits and vegetables of all kinds. Once everybody settled in, God added animals who could lay eggs, give milk and other milk products to the whole mix. Finally, He then created Man and Woman in his image and gave them the ultimate control over land and water so that they would live long and healthy lives.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it Moist Cake and said, “It is good. Try it?” And Man and Woman got hooked onto the Moist cake forever.
Then using God’s great gifts, Satan created the most sinful and delectable of all deserts. Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, white from the chickens egg and sugar from the cane and combined them to create the most delicious chocolate cake and named it Devil’s Own.
Then Satan asked, “You want ice-cream with that?”
Man said, “Yes!” and Woman said, “As long as you’re at it, add some sprinkles, please?”
Satan smiled. And Woman went from 36 – 24 – 36 to another unmentionable size. Man lived in denial of his extra 10 kgs.
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan brought forth uninterrupted WiFi and mobile data. And Man and Woman found more food blogs so that deserts from far away lands could be easily made at home.
Eventually, Man went into cardiac arrest while Woman had a skyrocketing blood sugar level. And Satan had the last laugh.